A Guy Can Dream

Someday, when I have the money laying around, I am going to order one of these chairs. This model is only five thousand dollars, and unlike all the earlier models I've tried (because every chance I get I try them out...for about 15 minutes at a time or until the sales clerk comes and kicks me out), this model actually adjusts for height! It can accommodate someone my height! Other cool features include:

• a remote that can be easily understood, regardless of what language you speak,
• a joystick that pops out from a hidden access panel on the arm of the chair, which adjusts the depth of the rollers and their speed,
• it remembers 3 different peoples' sizes, and
  
• it doesn't use that much electricity.

The lady working at the store was probably the nicest I've encountered in three years of massage-chair "shopping"; not only did she not kick us off the chairs (you should see the old men who just camp out there on weekends, with their smelly socks oiling up the nice pleather upholstery) but she took the time to explain in clear Japanese how the chair operates and where we can find dealers in America (New York, etc.).